Sadly, most of humanity has chosen the latter one, probably because it's easier to let someone else think for us. Also, over the centuries, requiring people to think and act a certain way has been a convenient way for our leaders to dominate the unruly, uncivilized masses. The Spanish Inquisition. Need I say more? So instead of raising self-directed children who make their choices based on internal cues like their morals, their values, their past experiences and their concept of self, we've been raising externally directed children who rely on the outside word, like their peers, the media, song lyrics and movies, as guiding beacons. And yep, we've been doing it for centuries.

Self-directed children use reason like a sword to cut through these external distractions so they're free to make their choices because those choices are right. Externally directed children make whatever choice is necessary to win acceptance and approval. And to do that, they use all the choice distortion tools at their disposal-excuses, self-deceit, denial, rationalizations, justifications, etc. This makes it easy for them to act on impulse, to shirk responsibility, to thumb their noses at accountability, and to succumb to every temptation, whim, mood or desire. Look around you at the world today. Read the paper. Watch the evening news. It's tragically clear what the repercussions for this choice mechanism are.

So what can we do? Simple. We can teach our children how to think for themselves- to recover their true power of thought, to learn how to be rewarded with acceptance as a consequence of their contributions instead of needing acceptance and thereby conforming.

This concept can be disseminated through many avenues quite easily. In fact, a pilot program is in the planning stages that would include "self-direction skills" in elementary school curricula. For those who want immediate intervention for their own children, Raising Children Who Think for Themselves, provides practical parenting strategies that encourage self-direction in children. If we're successful, and we will be, we'll proudly bless our children with a safer, happier and saner future. A world that they deserve.

© 2001, Elisa Medhus, MD. All Rights Reserved. Published by permission.

Dr. Elisa Medhus, MD, is the author of Raising Children Who Think for Themselves, which will be pubished may 10, 2001. She believes strongly that children need to learn the skills that allow them to make self-directed choices, rather than relying on external approval as a guide to decision-making. In pursuit of that goal, Dr.Medhus in the process of developing a pilot program for 4th and 5th graders that includes weekly interactive minicurriculum on how they can develop the tools of self-direction and avoid externally directed thinking.